When My Mind Becomes Deeper…

Last Friday of last week was the judgement day whether I will be regularized in the company where I am working right now. Thanks God I am already a “regular employee” in Clickstream! Yes, this is one of the greatest gifts God has given me on my birthday. People just don’t know how happy am I and how grateful am I for this blessing. This is truly the greatest gift I have received on this very birthday of mine.

What more can I say! I have a great work, a happy family, a friendly environment, a true God, and a loving sweetheart.

What an irony because I am not very happy today. My ate wasn’t feeling good these past few days. I love her so much and I don’t want her to feel unimportant, I want her to feel that we do love her and she still the best sister in the whole world despite the many “failures” she has had. But I don’t think it is right for her to feel desperate…to feel hopeless…because we do love her and we are here to support her all the way. She may not be able to reach the greates heights of her dreamed success today but I know she will soon have it. I am sad because she is so moody today that our two younger sisters are already affected. How can I be able to tell her that everything’s ok and that there is still hope waiting for her. How can I be able to let her feel that we support her in all her undertakings.

I know…yes I know! I have a plan for her. I will buy her a gift on her birthday. It’s ok if the gift is a bit expensive…it’s really ok! It’s fine with me, if I have nothing for my birthday because I know I have already received one. Just want to let her feel her importance!

They said that as you grow older, your knowledge increases and so do with your wisdom. You can better understand things when you get older and your decision-making gets mature also.

I am already 20 years old now, yet I haven’t felt any significant difference of my being me. Perhaps, I wasn’t just able to notice it, hmmmp…perhaps, but I don’t know because for me, the old Vhanz and the recent Van (as how the Clickers call me), is just the same.

Ooopss…I guess I am forgetting something! I have realized that there was really something that’s changed in me and that’s how I dress. Look at me now! I look professional, whew! (Assuming!!!Hehehe…)

It was my friend’s birthday yesterday. His name’s Michael Angelo but I usualy call him “Mike”.

We had an agreement with my boyfriend that he is going to fetch me from my working place. I waited for him but we really didn’t meet so I decided to go home alone. I have thought of Mike’s birthday so I decided to drop by their house to hand to his mother my little gift for him since I know by that time Michael has not arrived yet from school.

I had my dinner in there with Mike’s mom and dad. I received a text message from my younger sister informing me that Ryan is already waiting for me in the house so I then went home.

Actually, I don’t have the fear but I just don’t want my boyfriend to get jealous because I really know Ryan. Although he understands me but still he is very possessive. I value our friendship with Michael but of course I value my boyfriend so, so much!

And when I reached home, Ryan was there. My sisters informed me that he prepared food for us. Although it is not spoken through the mouth but I know that I really have to explain and make “lambing” to my boyfriend. I can’t really forget his face and I can’t even help to smile whenever I remember his face at that night.

I really value Ryan so much! He is not just a good lover but also a very good friend!

I am already 20 years old, yet there are still lots of things I have to learn in life. There are even things young people have experienced which I still don’t. Although I am equipped with proper education but there are still things education won’t be able to teach us- and that is having experienced the things education has taught us.

I started discovering these feelings and realization when we had our company outing and team-building but I guess I have to share lots from this later.

‘Til next!

It has been a long time since I make use of my “msn” account so I decided to open it today. I never regret any stolen single moment doing chatting on the net because I have known lots of cool friends- friends that are totally different from my yahoo chat mates.

What makes it so unforgettable is that his name is “Ryan”- the very name of my boyfriend. I even told him so and he was fascinated upon hearing my confession. I admire him because he really respects his girlfriend and that he wasn’t able to do things to his gf just like most of American teenagers do. He was a virgin and so with his girlfriend, who is still 18, according to him…gosh! Unbelievable but he really insisted that he is telling the truth.

Well, although I am a person that easily believes but hard to be convinced, I just bear with what he said. Can you imagine a 20-year old guy, a fraternity member in North America, and a college drop-out who was once taking up broadcasting never had sex with his girlfriend? Unbelievable, but it’s true- according to him! Hahaha…

It’s not funny actually here in the Philippines, but knowing that he grows up in a liberal country with liberal-minded people is something questionable for us to believe.

But we can’t really judge people. There are really still who are very preserved! Just like me???

That was just the story of my stolen moments during working hours! But I think you should know that “stolen moments” are the most wonderful moments in ones life. Gotcha!

Read this message:

You might have experienced this, too!

You are sitting in your favorite chair reading a book. The site of you compels me to come to you and crawl into your lap. You glance away from your book for a moment and smile at me. As I sit there, head muzzled against your chest and shoulder, I enjoy the simple pleasure of being close to you. It is so quiet in the room that I can hear your steady heart beat in my ear. Your scent fills my nostrils and sends a pleasure signal through my body…I love the smell of you! I can not resist tipping my head up and nipping your earlobe gently with my teeth, then kissing it to make up for the bite! Next, I kiss your necks, my hand caresses your firm chest. I can feel your heart beating harder under my fingertips. Still reading your book your free hand reaches and touches my hair. I love it when you run your fingers through my hair, it feels so good! After a time I sit up slightly and kiss the corner of your full sensuous lips. Once again you glance away from your book and look into my eyes….I see a spark of interest in them! I press my lips gently against yours and feel you returning the pressure. Our lips part and tongues tentatively touch. Little shivers run down my spine at that first contact! We share a slow sweet kiss for a few moments….I hear your book drop to the floor as both of your arms wrap around me and you hold me close to you. The kiss grows more passionate…tongues duelling…hearts racing…hands roaming…passions soaring! Oh what a wonderful moment! Finally we part…a small sigh escapes me at the loss of contact. You smile down at me with fire in your eyes as one arm slips under my knees and the other under my arms. You stand and start to walk towards the bedroom whispering I want you, my love!

I never thought I could sew a blouse, dress a table, and handle an L-square with ease. This is my first premonition when I first decided to enter in a vocational school. But time runs so fast. Time changes so swiftly and man’s wisdom and knowledge grow even to the greatest heights of man’s imagination.

We can really never tell. Even if we are blessed with strong vibrations and the power of prophecy, I believe we can never tell the turn of events and the show of life’s pages and chapters. We just have to feel the beauty of every moment we are alive and think that every second of the day offers a secret miracle that touches our hearts. There are times when we need to be alone. We need to have a space so we would understand the very call of our soul and so it is not just

There are times when we feel so tired controlling things we are afraid to happen to us. Yes, this is true because sometimes destiny would really test our faith that we are just surprised things just happened as they are without us knowing it.

And if that time comes, you will be wrapped with mixed emotions…you will experience standing on crossroads. Of course that will happen because we are unprepared and we are used setting things out so we are ready to whatever may happen along our ways. But there are really a lot of things that just happened so, so swiftly and they usually come during times when we are very unprepared.

This is just what was happening to me for the past two weeks. I was very sick. My body was very tired and the doctor told us that my whole body was sufferring because of my kidney infection. I wasn’t able to report in the office for work for a week. I vomitted everything that I took in. I hate my medicines. I didn’t want to take them because there were really a lot of them and I felt I never got better with these drugs. My mom was so worried about me.

But of course, GOD is very good to all of us! I know I have sinned a lot and I have displeased Him but He never leaves my side. I know that He was just testing how strong my faith is for Him and how deep is my love for Him. And thanks God, I am feeling better now!

So when you encounter such experience, just let things be and never forget that nobody else can help us with all our needs but only Jesus. He is our Saviour at all times. Call Him all the time! He will never fail you. Believe me ‘coz I’ve been there!